I love how the Message Bible translates this passage. It says, "With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death".
I am so breathing that passage in right now. For those of my readers who are new to my blog you'll soon realize that I don't write every day or even every week. I write a post when I'm inspired by the Holy Spirit to do so. When something I'm walking through, experiencing or learning becomes something I feel led to share with others. Today is just that day.
Have you ever wondered when you were in that "low-lying black cloud" fog of guilt and shame if the feeling was being produced as a result of conviction or condemnation? I have. These days, I feel it often. Every since my husband moved out I have been living under that black cloud. I get dressed in shame and go to bed in guilt. Every day, I sort through the levy of emotions of thoughts and feelings that compete for my attention. "If only..." has become my new best friend. If only I would have done more of this. If only I would have done less than that. "If only.... will kill you". Or at least it has tried to kill me.
Being a writer, I find a great amount of comfort in journaling. I haven't always been this way but have discovered the healing powers of it in the past few years. I find that writing my thoughts down helps me process the barrage of "if onlys" in my mind and heart. The other day, I was looking back on the written word of the messy handwriting and tear stained pages of my journal and I realized something. There is a huge difference between the thoughts and words that bring conviction and the ones that bring condemnation.
You see, as I have had time to reflect on my marriage, I realize there is so much I could have done differently. Yes, I know it takes two but I am only responsible for this half of the equation. I realize I could have done a lot more of somethings and a lot less of other things. Isn't that true in every relationship? I'll tell you the truth, those things as God reveals them to me have been very painful. Yet, in a comforting pulling of a splinter sort of way. As I have repented, the thorn of conviction was replaced by a healing that must come from God alone. The healing every time has been mixed with an invitation to come closer to the Father and spend time having my mind and heart renewed.
Now, the enemy of my soul would love to hang a cloak of condemnation upon my shoulders and in fact has done so quite effectively in the past few weeks. He uses quiet whispers, memories and even the words and actions of others under his control to shoot fiery darts at my mind and heart. Yet, the simple words in Romans remind me (and perhaps you today) that in Christ there is no condemnation, just a simple sweet conviction where necessary blended with an invitation to come closer.
If what we feel encourages us to come closer to the Lord and stand naked in His presence, then know that what you are experiencing is called conviction; repent and begin again. If on the other hand what you are experiencing creates in you a desire to cover up your guilt and shame then know with confidence that you are experiencing the enemies weapon of condemnation. Run fast and furious from those emotions (and those shooting fiery darts), take up your shield of faith and allow the Spirit of God to draw you close and love you whole again; just like He is me.
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